Two small words. Immeasurably large impact.
I’m sorry.
So simple. So eloquent. So rarely offered.
Why is that?
Why is it when some have harmed us, intentionally or not, literally or not, gleefully or not, they find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry.”
Why is that so damned hard?
Here’s what I want when I’m the one harmed: Just tell me, in the sincerest manner you can muster, that you are sorry (tears and a quivering lip would be a nice touch and will most likely speed my forgiveness. oh, and cake. yes. chocolate cake. now you know just how easy i am). Use these two words: I’m. Sorry. Maybe throw in a please forgive me? to drive your point home.
Then, give me a minute. Most likely I’ll not only forgive you, but our relationship will be stronger because you thought enough about us to put yourself in such a vulnerable position.
YES! Of course I forgive you. Apology accepted. Just never ever never do it again. Um, where’s the cake?
See? I’m a reasonable gal.
What you shouldn’t then do is pad the apology with the reasons of why you did what you did, or why/how you think I contributed, or that it was just a joke. Sheesh, can’t you take a joke?
Jokes I can take. Bad behavior masquerading as comedy, not so much.
Listen, I know some folks have a hard time with a sincere apology. They assume it’s a weakness they’d rather not bear. I’ve talked about this before. Many equate an apology’s vulnerability with weakness. In fact the opposite is true. Just ask anyone who has been the one offering the apology because of some bonehead move they made; ask them if only a weakling could properly apologize.
To say I’m sorry and mean it…to stop at those two words….to not know if the other person will accept your apology, takes courage.
When I’ve screwed up (oh man, how many times have I screwed up?!), I try like hell to get the apology right. My family and my beloved friends mean more to me than my pride. Even if it means begging for forgiveness.
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, FORGIVE ME!
Life is just too danged short not to set things right.
I know it can be hard. I know it’s uncomfortable. I know you might have to bake a chocolate cake. But, goodness gracious, let us all practice the art of the apology with each other.
APOLOGIZE, DAMNIT!
Dang. That might have been a bit harsh. I’m sorry.
Can you please forgive me?
PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE, FORGIVE ME!
~off to bake your cake~